Five Things meme, fit the first
Aug. 31st, 2006 05:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
marycrawfordI'm doing these in random order, so here goes. Offer's still open!
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dgcandace:
Five non-weapon objects Iolaus has hit a bad guy with
1) Fish. Electric eels were good, but more Nebula's specialty; Iolaus never remembered to wear gloves. He liked your basic market fish, flounder or mackerel. Even hardened warriors were unnerved by the smell, the glistering rain of scales everywhere, and the wet, cold smack of fish in the face.
Plus, you could eat them afterwards.
2) His leather bag. Iolaus didn't draw his sword unless there was no alternative, but he swung a mean bag. As a result their fish hooks were bent, the bread had dents in it, and he had to let Hercules carry the small but crucial amphora of olive oil.
3) Frying pans. Iolaus loved the sound of frying pan meeting helmet, and kept trying to persuade Hercules that they should carry one with them, like Xena and Gabrielle did, but Hercules would just roll his eyes and say, "Xena has a horse."
4) A chicken. He only got in the one hit, then it ran away squawking, which was just typical. He didn't trust chickens. With their scrawny necks and beady eyes, every one of them looked like Discord.
5) Hercules. When they ended up in a clearing surrounded by bad guys, which was about every other day, sometimes they'd reverse the Thermopylae manoeuver and kick it up a notch; Hercules would grab his wrists, roll over his back, and Iolaus would flip him into a horizontal spin and start knocking out mercenaries.
Hanging on to two hundred plus pounds of whirling demigod was more fun than Salmoneus' Wild Water Ride and even more dangerous, especially that one time when Iolaus let go too soon and Hercules sailed away over the treetops and landed in Artemis' sacred pool. Iolaus had to deal with the rest of the mercenaries by himself until Hercules ambled back into the clearing, munching on ferns. Luckily the antlers made for pretty good weapons, too.
Forgryphonrhi:
Five things Autolycus didn't actually steal (but takes the credit/blame for anyway)
1) Pandora's box. That box had his name on it, and he would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for that idiot Epimetheus.
2) Ares' sword. Sure, Sisyphus took all the credit, but everyone knew what a blowhard he was. Really, it was only Autolycus' modesty that prevented him from stepping up as the next God of War. Well, that, plus he didn't like the sight of blood.
3) Xena's heart. Oh, please. Of course she wanted him. Did she ever dress up as a harem girl for Gabrielle?
4) Hera's Girdle of Fertility. Who else would dare steal from the Queen of the Gods? All that stuff about Hera destroying it herself to keep Zeus from siring bastards was just a coverup. Obviously.
5) His mother's earrings. Autolycus had a great childhood. The best. His parents were pickpockets, and they trained him well; when he was six years old he could lift his mother's earrings from her ears without her noticing. They never found them again. If anyone told you she sold them for food, they were lying.
For
dgcandace:Five non-weapon objects Iolaus has hit a bad guy with
1) Fish. Electric eels were good, but more Nebula's specialty; Iolaus never remembered to wear gloves. He liked your basic market fish, flounder or mackerel. Even hardened warriors were unnerved by the smell, the glistering rain of scales everywhere, and the wet, cold smack of fish in the face.
Plus, you could eat them afterwards.
2) His leather bag. Iolaus didn't draw his sword unless there was no alternative, but he swung a mean bag. As a result their fish hooks were bent, the bread had dents in it, and he had to let Hercules carry the small but crucial amphora of olive oil.
3) Frying pans. Iolaus loved the sound of frying pan meeting helmet, and kept trying to persuade Hercules that they should carry one with them, like Xena and Gabrielle did, but Hercules would just roll his eyes and say, "Xena has a horse."
4) A chicken. He only got in the one hit, then it ran away squawking, which was just typical. He didn't trust chickens. With their scrawny necks and beady eyes, every one of them looked like Discord.
5) Hercules. When they ended up in a clearing surrounded by bad guys, which was about every other day, sometimes they'd reverse the Thermopylae manoeuver and kick it up a notch; Hercules would grab his wrists, roll over his back, and Iolaus would flip him into a horizontal spin and start knocking out mercenaries.
Hanging on to two hundred plus pounds of whirling demigod was more fun than Salmoneus' Wild Water Ride and even more dangerous, especially that one time when Iolaus let go too soon and Hercules sailed away over the treetops and landed in Artemis' sacred pool. Iolaus had to deal with the rest of the mercenaries by himself until Hercules ambled back into the clearing, munching on ferns. Luckily the antlers made for pretty good weapons, too.
For
gryphonrhi:Five things Autolycus didn't actually steal (but takes the credit/blame for anyway)
1) Pandora's box. That box had his name on it, and he would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for that idiot Epimetheus.
2) Ares' sword. Sure, Sisyphus took all the credit, but everyone knew what a blowhard he was. Really, it was only Autolycus' modesty that prevented him from stepping up as the next God of War. Well, that, plus he didn't like the sight of blood.
3) Xena's heart. Oh, please. Of course she wanted him. Did she ever dress up as a harem girl for Gabrielle?
4) Hera's Girdle of Fertility. Who else would dare steal from the Queen of the Gods? All that stuff about Hera destroying it herself to keep Zeus from siring bastards was just a coverup. Obviously.
5) His mother's earrings. Autolycus had a great childhood. The best. His parents were pickpockets, and they trained him well; when he was six years old he could lift his mother's earrings from her ears without her noticing. They never found them again. If anyone told you she sold them for food, they were lying.