H:tLJ drabble #8: "Night", again

[marycrawford]

I'm not saying this version's any better than the last one, mind. But if it is, it's thanks to halimede's live-beta skills. And if it's not, well hey, it was an interesting exercise.

Still H:tLJ, still 100 words, still PG. Challenge: "starlight".


Night

Iolaus counted stars, using the rhythm of Hercules' measured breaths. Ever since Iolaus had returned from his last death he'd had trouble falling asleep. At least he'd managed to feign sleep well enough to fool his friend.

He lost count again. The stars stared down at him, uneasy pinpricks of light in the long dark. Iolaus shivered and closed his eyes, then burrowed deeper into the blankets, seeking and finding warmth.

Hercules murmured into his hair, "You all right?"

Who did I think I was kidding? Iolaus thought, smiling, and pressed closer.

His smile faded. "I'm fine. Just cold."



---
Now I need to get back to X and Y, who are languishing in the descriptionless city of Z and wondering where the hell I've got to. Wish I knew.

Comments

[science-vixen.livejournal.com]

It's those hairpin turns in Z.
Easy to get lost in... ^_^

I wonder how the sky looked for Iolaus.
Leo (http://www.ne.jp/asahi/stellar/scenes/seiza_e/leo.htm) wasn't there yet, or only recently there... The lyon being killed (http://www.ufrsd.net/staffwww/stefanl/myths/leo.htm) by Hercules as the first of his 12 tasks.
(has this happened yet in the series?)
Considering there was this big empty patch where Hercules (http://www.geocities.com/the_150mm_reflector/herc.htm) is nowadays.

[halimede.livejournal.com]

Interesting! Definitely much more atmospheric. I have some comments on this one as well, if you're interested. Not right now though, because I'm supposed to be writing myself. :)

[dbw.livejournal.com]

I like this one, too. But I think, of the two -- I like the first one more. Not sure why -- it could just be because I read it first. :-)

-debbie