marycrawford | Sex scene blues.

Really, I am the Queen of Clue. Guess what I just found out, gnawing away slooowly at my H:tLJ story?

Writing sex scenes is hard. Writing anything else is tough, too, but sex scenes - man.

For one, the guys don't want to get going. Because they're busy fighting, or in a hurry, or one of them's hurting, or they're separated or just not in the mood or...

For another, I have typed and then deleted phrases like 'his molten gaze' and 'displayed himself wantonly' because while I love reading stuff like this when it's done well, I can't write it without embarrassing myself. Another discovery: writing sex scenes is harder (and stop with the giggling already) when you take away the purple prose.

And even then I'm afraid it will turn cheesy, or silly, or out of character, or with so many hands and body parts involved that it's like an orgy of acrobats.

Anyway. Randi DuMois just posted the The Right Path over at the Less than Legendary Journeys, and I read it and went, this is what I'm aiming for.

Love the snark:

"What?" Iolaus demanded angrily. "If you're just going to criticize, give me my leg back."

Hercules eyed him a moment, one brow lifted in a particularly annoying way. "Okay."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

If you need a (very friendly and kind yet honest) beta, I'm here for you. Also available as someone to bounce ideas of of, or just try things out on. One of those of's in the preceding sentence needs an extra 'f', but right now I don't know which one. So maybe don't depend on me for all you're spelling needs. ;)

Thank you v. much! At present the damn story is more a collection of scenes that need to be strung together, like beads on a wire. It also needs at least five thousand more words. But I'll knock on your door when it's ready. :-)

I'm a pretty good speller, it's plot, characterization, Dutchisms and general suckiness that worry me.

Well, I'm not much help with Dutchisms, probably. And I don't know the fandom very well, though that can be a help as well as a hindrance when it comes to characterisation. I'm pretty good at being aware of my reactions as a reader, though, and happy to report back. I really enjoy beta reading. Looking forward to it. :)

I think having a beta who's not a H:tLJ would be an asset.

nopseud has a point when she said "I'd love to hear where non-familiarity with the fandom leaves you thinking 'huh?'" :-)

I've always found sex scenes to be enormously hard to write, and I have a lot of self-imposed rules to follow when I write them. I think I can probably do 50 pages of plot, dialog and action in the time it takes me to do a one page sex scene, so I try to avoid them. I'm also enormously picky about the sex scenes I read. I don't like the purple prose route, but I also don't like the ones with too much detail of the medical quality or the ones using really crude language (though I know for a lot of people those are their favorite bits). That tends to eliminate about 90% of the fanfic sex scenes ever written, which is why I mostly read gen. :)

And hey, I volunteer to beta read too if you need it. Though fair warning, I'm very picky about everything, not just sex scenes.

Ugh, I know what you mean about the medical detail. And I'm also rather fed up with the whole one finger, two finger, three finger, cock routine. (I think Laura Jacquez Valentine came up with that description. :-)

I don't object to explicit language, but I'm not very fond of porn vocabulary ("tool", throbbing anything) which I think is another kind of purple prose.

And I'm only now starting to realize that there has to be an emotional plot as well as an action plot, and the sex has to fit seamlessly into both. I think that's a real problem in H:tLJ slash: often the sex is the plot, or there's no plot at all. Almost all the great action-adventure stories seem to be gen.

And hey, I volunteer to beta read too if you need it. Though fair warning, I'm very picky about everything, not just sex scenes.

Thank you kindly! I want very picky betas, believe me. (And need them, probably.) As I said above, it's nowhere near beta-ready yet, but I'll certainly let you know.

I am also terrible at sex scenes. And there are certain phrases I hate. Orbs, in reference to eyes,because it makes me think of map globes; throbbing members, in reference to the penis, because I think of people who belong to an organization that involves pulsating, somehow; and folds of womanhoood, although that one doesn't come up much in my smut writing. Makes a woman sound like a sheet. You know, make hospital corners when you fold it, would you dear?

Yup, writing sex sucks. Oh, and cock rings do not prevent orgasm, they prevent the blood from leaving the erect penis so that the erection is prolonged. Just a personal smut thing for me.

Dialogue I'm great at, although I have a great deal of difficulty believing anyone has ever said the things I have read in some sex scenes. May be just my personal experience but I have never moaned, "Oh, fuck me, big boy, put it in." And if I did, my husband would probably look at me as if I had lost my mind.

Yup. Plot. Check. Character development. Check. Witty dialog. Check. Sex. . . .hmmmm.

Amorette

I'll see your 'orbs' and raise you a 'globes'. Urgh.

You know, make hospital corners when you fold it, would you dear?

LOL!

I agree that in real life, most people don't talk the way they do in slash or in porn movies. That kind of dialogue always sounds so improbable to me, not to mention generic.

That's right. The best sex scenes don't have pages and pages of description. Heck, we have imaginations. We can use them!

That's why I've enjoyed Randy Dumois' stories. There is plot there, witty dialogue, the basic relationship is intact. The sex is secondary, sometimes tertiary. Read Imagos. I've read that 2-3 times and love it. And the one scene there, it's erotic. Give me that over medical descriptions (I have a degree in biology and work in a hospital, I've seen it all! lol) or badly written porn. I think it's a case of feelings, thoughts are delved into that get me, not the physical tab A goes into slot B that is so often written.

And if your characters refuse to have sex in your story, don't push it or it will read as contrived. Heck, my charries let me know when their ready. Darn things!

gahhh!
I wrote 'their' instead of 'they're'.
I hate it when I use the wrong word!
lol

Oh yeah, I love Imagos. I find the description of Iolaus pacing furiously in front of the fire, and AU!Hercules' reaction to it, just as delicious as the somewhat more explicit scene later.

And if your characters refuse to have sex in your story, don't push it or it will read as contrived.

Yeah, you're right. I need to watch out for that. If it turns out that it doesn't work in this story, I can always post some 'deleted scenes' or something here...

Thanks for the link. :-)
That was... good... ;)
KISSES

You're welcome! :-)

Sex scene blues.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Less is More

Re: Less is More

Re: Less is More

no subject

no subject