Just let me lie here on the tile

happy birthday long-ge

2026-04-16T14:31:02Z

I was watching zhu yilong's livestream: soothing and inconsequential as usual, he had to do his own hair for the stream and he doesn't know how, he loves snail soup -- and then I hit the moment where someone asked him an annoying question (I hate the 'describe thing in this many words' trope so much and I guess the fans copied the idea from the entertainment interviews?) and I'm DYING at his answer, but I won't spoil it.

ilu long-ge, never change.

Also, ~~is bluesky down for anyone else?~~ Looks like that's a problem for a lot of ppl right now, unfortunately.

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random thoughts about tunnels

2025-09-02T15:34:19Z

So I mentioned earlier that I was taking an undersea train to London for the Dongji Rescue Premiere. The idea is magical, very Miyazaki (I did not meet any Ghost Faced people on the train); the last time I took the channel train was in 2012 so I don't remember a thing.

The reality is uh. It's a train? They have somehow managed to work in all the inefficient stupidity of an airport, so you have to get to the station an hour early and go through security and possibly aren't allowed to bring your own drinks on board unless sealed, though I'm still not sure if they enforced that at any point. I travel by train all the time, but I'm used to showing up five minutes early, beeping the beepy gate thing with my card and just getting on board.

It only goes under the sea for about half an hour, the rest of the time you're whizzing through Belgium. But on the way back, the announcement said that we were currently 100m under sea level. And given the movie I just saw, I started to wonder.

Could we swim our way out of the train? Let's forget about the logistics of first cutting ourselves out of the train and then opening up the tunnel roof or a hidden exit. If all the passengers found themselves able to escape the tunnel, could we make it to the surface?

I looked up some stats and apparently, 100 m is just about the limit of what a human free diver can sustain, even if they're only going up. But I bet Zhu Yilong could do it...

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Dongji Rescue Premiere report

2025-08-25T10:24:00Z

Copying some of this from bluesky, with additions because there's no text limits here:

The Dongji Rescue Premiere in London was an utter shambles - fans tried to form a queue system and in the end nobody was allowed inside for the red carpet as had been promised, we all stood outside in 30C heat (with some shade from the building). Long-ge arrived, smiled, waved at us, and went inside.

This was the closest I ever saw him - despite being practically at the front of the line I ended up wayyy high in the cinema seats - in the “gods” more or less - but at that point I was just happy to get to sit down. By the end of the movie many of the fans seated up there with me all moved down to get a better view for the Q&A, but I was too tired at that point and just watched him from far above. (And Ni Ni, and Wu Lei <3)
‪
The movie was intense, violent, moving, full of action (some of it very grim) and I wanted more character moments and less pulling on ropes, especially for Ni Ni. Long-ge stole every scene he was in as usual, and I was also rather in love with his boat. I hope we get to see more scenes like this one that got left out of the final edit.

At the very end of the Q&A there was a lucky draw for signed posters, and my seat number was called! And here it is:

Judging by the faintness of the writing, I guess that Zhu Yilong was handed the less functional gold pen which somehow feels entirely on brand for him.

I didn’t realize until it was pointed out to me by a fellow fan that there was lots of great music but no long-ge song in the movie! That's a shame, he could have done a great job with ( spoilers )

I was absolutely saved by my earlier decision to get a hotel across the street, and to override all my calvinist habits of thought and pay the enormous cost for actual air conditioning and soundproofing and the like that comes with a fancy hotel in the heart of London. I think the last time I was in London by myself I stayed at a hostel, which really underscores how long ago that was. This time there were people opening the door for me and saying things like "Welcome back, madam, I hope you had a pleasant afternoon", which, honestly, I could get used to in daily life.

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a fannish plan

2025-08-01T10:51:22Z

Okay, so I lost my mind and bought a ticket to Zhu Yilong's new movie premiere. In London. Where he will also be. There's a red carpet and a Q&A and everything. Ni Ni will be there too!

I stared at the ticket for a day like, am I really up to this? And then I committed and booked a train (an UNDERSEA TRAIN because why not, let's live in a Miyazaki movie, surely nothing will go wrong) and a hotel across the street from the cinema.

I just hope I can hold up for four hours from red carpet to movie to Q&A afterwards. I suspect this event will be very different from the charming Dutch premiere of Only the River Flows in Amsterdam, in that tiny arthouse theatre with the ripped seats. They didn't even bring the house lights up much for the Q&A with the director, which was helpful when I sat there beet-faced to ask my question.

I'm excited! And nervous. I hope there will be other fans to talk to, and that there will be a fun high energy crowd to watch the movie with. The tickets sold out in a day, so I suspect that last one is a given.

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AI project feeding off AO3

2025-03-09T11:50:48Z

I got a comment on my single Dutch language fanfic on AO3, from a university research assistant working in the Netherlands. They don't speak Dutch. They want to feed my work to a "computational model" (that means AI, in case you were wondering).

The project is meant to "train computational models to explore what readers value in a story".

"For his research, Pianzola will use artificial intelligence to analyze millions of stories and their responses, from sites in five different languages -, English, Spanish, Italian, Korean and Indonesian - collected from countries on all continents. That analysis provides a wealth of information about the characters in a story, the genre, what a story is about, how a story is constructed, what themes are covered, as well as what readers from different countries and cultures find important in a story."

This project got more than a million euro from the EU. It's called GOLEM.

You can't make this shit up, at least not if you're an AI.

I'm so mad. Fuck off and leave us to write our stories in peace, can you?

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fanart and fangifts

2025-01-21T10:08:41Z

I painted this for mumblemumble's fandomtrees post at the very last minute - the deadline for this gifting challenge always gets extended and it was helpful for me this time.

"fanart of beach concert fun times" was a great prompt and I love Zhu Yilong's whole look during this event. Though I did make up most of the blue in his hair, to reference his role in the Land of Broken Hearts movie.

Side note: taking pictures of fanart in a sketchbook and then trying to get the colors in the photo to match what you're actually seeing is quite a ride. I did already know that the camera is never as good as the human eye (especially not a smartphone camera) but it's weird. I would welcome tips on how to photograph art stuff on your phone.

(fountain pen, brush pen, watercolor)

Earlier, for guardian_wishlist, I asked for Zhu Yilong pics and moodboards and all that, as well as Guardian fanfic, and I got many fabulous things that you should check out:

- beautiful pictures and a few clips/gifs from the Land of Broken Hearts premiere in Beijing, the beach concert, and the roadshows, carefully curated by mumblemumble. And I used one of those photographs as reference for this fanart, so it's a full circle of fannish joy.

- a fabulous Zhu Yilong slideshow (and download link) created by sakana17. I keep this slideshow open in a tab in my browser, for fannish joy and inspiration.

- a lovely evocative short fic by nnozomi about Shen Wei riding the trams in Dragon City, which is so relevant to my interests as I take trams every day and adore them very nearly as much as I adore Shen Wei. (I'm going to a sketch outing in a dutch train museum next weekend and I can't wait.)

- a Zhu Yilong/Ocean moodboard by yue_ix that is pure art. He really is a sea creature, and the fic inspiration is lying in wait for me every time I look at this. It's so gorgeous and brings so many ideas into life.

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comforts

2025-01-14T10:31:48Z

Sometimes when I haven't had any comments on fic for a while (and well, I haven't written much in the past year, so the comments dry up accordingly) I go and look at the bookmarks people have left, and it often cheers me up. Like today.

Dear person who bookmarked a small snowy weilan story with

AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHFUCKHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHFUCKHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I see you, and I appreciate you XD

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NiF and chill

2024-11-24T16:48:16Z

I'm slowly (of course, I do everything slowly) rewatching Nirvana in Fire and it's so satisfying. An absolutely perfect show for rewatching - the vibes, the resonance of knowing everything that's about to happen, or picking up on stuff that you never noticed - so satisfying. Also all the costumes and sets are so good.

I love how prince Yu is so ostentatiously dressed, he's so Extra but in a serious way, and in the first episode could easily be mistaken for the protagonist. It spells out so much about him that he is more elaborately dressed than the crown prince and sometimes also the emperor.

I've just arrived at ..I think ep 15?.. where Mei Changsu is giving him increasingly dubious but plausible advice, and it's so good to watch it unfold. Also wow, MCS was incredibly rude to Banruo but in a deniably austere way, ignoring her polite gestures ('Please sit down') and not speaking to her at all until the prince arrived. I'm not entirely sure why he did that but it was fun to see.

There are some scenes where I am becoming convinced that the lighting and the blocking is deliberately done to show Hu Ge's facial scars when he's speaking about (or denying) his past. It's not like they are all that noticeable, and I'm sure they could have been completely covered if so desired.

NiF is such a good show to rewatch in winter, with all the handwarmers and charcoal fires and the way every character speaks with frost plumes, even indoors. I ordered a heated pad for my feet, this may be related.

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Stardew spookery, and a headsup about bugs

2024-11-04T19:49:37Z

The long-awaited update for Stardew Valley on mobile (Switch, iOS, etc) just released tonight and I was happy to dive in, but I ran into some immediate bugs and I think I'll hold off for now until bugfixes are released.

My own observed bug was a second house that is visible on your Meadowlands farm from day 1; it's obviously a multiplayer house, even has the package inside that you can't open because it's for 'someone else', but there is no actual multiplayer option on mobile. Spooky.

The bug I've seen reported that made me decide to quit immediately was that your first two chickens (you start out with those on a Meadowlands farm) can disappear overnight. No thank you!

ETA I do love the dev's response:

PSA: there is currently an issue, if you start a new farm on the meadowlands farm and open the animal door on the coop day 1, your chickens will disappear. If you leave the door closed for one day, it should save them. We will fix this. Lore: There is a wild coyote on the farm…
— ConcernedApe (@ConcernedApe) November 4, 2024

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language is funny

2024-10-24T12:08:50Z

I was having blood drawn today and was asked "Did you eat or drink anything today?" and it occurred to me as it always does that the official word for not having drunk or eaten yet in Dutch, the one they check off on the form, is so incredibly confusing. It's "nuchter" which ALSO means "I am not drunk, I have not consumed alcohol".

So full props to the nurse for asking me that sensible question instead of "Bent u nuchter?" which I've heard before.

But now it occurs to me that I don't know an English translation for 'nuchter' either. 'Sober' yes, but that doesn't cover the have you eaten/drunk part. (or does it? in that case, English is just as confusing...)

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Lost Tomb in Yuletide

2024-10-07T18:50:09Z

I don't participate in Yuletide as such, these days, but I like to write a treat now and then, and since the signups just opened I had a look at all the fandoms in the tagset.

At first I thought Lost Tomb Reboot was excluded, which made sense because it has a lot of fic, but it turns out it's available for Yuletide requests after all, under its new official AO3 name: Reunion: The Sound of the Providence (TV 2020). 🧐

I haaate the new name and I don't understand the need for it, either. We're fans, we came up with a better name, let it stay! This is unrelated to Yuletide though, probably. Maybe it's been live for a while and I only just noticed?

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Guardian Wishlist is happening

2024-08-25T19:12:56Z

There's a couple days left to sign up for guardian_wishlist, and I managed to get my wishlist done too. It's a fun very low-key Guardian and related fandoms event where you can comment on someone's wishlist to give them something they requested (fanart, fic, picspams, podfic, all kinds of goodness) and then it all goes live at once in a month's time. And you don't need to sign up for anything if you just want to give a gift to someone else, it's a free for all.

Much like Zhu Yilong's movie promo - it's such a typical Long-ge fandom experience that there's no news for months except for maybe some commercials, and then BOOM a firehose of content. He grew his hair, he dyed it blue, he gave a concert on the beach! And on it goes.

New weird meta-romcom movie will be shown in the US and I am very jealous. I really doubt this one will make it to Dutch cinema - I know I said that about the last one too, but that one made it to Cannes and that must have helped enormously.

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Only the River Flows in Amsterdam, director Q&A report!

2024-03-11T10:13:37Z

Only the River Flows, Zhu Yilong's latest movie, had two showings in the Cinemasia film festival in Amsterdam and I picked the second showing, because the first one was late at night on Friday and the second a much more comfortable Sunday afternoon. The second showing also had a Q&A listed on the program, and I enthused to mumblemumble about this, saying "I'll have to think of a decent question to ask that isn't just 'What was it like working with Long-ge?'" She told me that in a similar situation during a film festival showing in Germany, the Q&A turned out to be a prerecorded Zoom call, so I assumed it would be the same here.

It was not. The director Wei Shujun showed up at the end with an interpreter, and fielded a bunch of questions with flair. There were a lot of stylish young Asian women in the audience, and half of the questions were in Chinese.

Why did he pick the Albert Camus quote at the beginning? He got a laugh because he'd forgotten the exact words, but the gist was that he wanted to signpost the absurdity of the story at the beginning. I think he used the word 'absurd' (or whatever it is in Chinese) three or four times in all.

Why did Ma Zhe insist on smoking when that would have been so bad for the baby? This made me laugh, and the director apologized for the bad influence but it didn't feel like a heavyhanded moment, and he added that it was both a stylistic and a historical touch.

Then I screwed all my courage to the sticking place and asked my question, which was along the lines of “In this role Zhu Yilong seemed to play a very interior character - was that due to your direction?” My head was red as fire during this but the audience lights were still low, good for me.

Wei Shujun said that Zhu Yilong had read the book and arrived on set with a specific idea of how to play the character, and they worked on it together. They rehearsed a lot, even for moments that might look spontaneous or like they would only need one take, because they kept adjusting how many words Zhu Yilong would say and how much movement he would show. Basically wanting to do a lot with very little. Also because film is expensive, they couldn’t shoot a lot of takes. He mentioned the moment Ma Zhe discovers the suitcase under the bed, and the moment he lies down on the bed, as examples.

My thoughts on the movie: I didn't fully get what the story was doing, and possibly that was the entire point, but I really enjoyed it anyway. Seeing it in a slightly dilapidated theatre (my chair seat cover was ripped into shreds and so was my seatmate's) added to the ambiance and the vibe. There were a lot of beautiful little human moments as well as stylish set pieces, and I thought Zhu Yilong absolutely pulled off the minimalist, interior acting that still made me feel intensely connected to his character. Also I'm glad I went into this movie unspoiled because I feel like that's part of the experience, watching it unfold, so I'm hesitant to give any details.

I want to see it again and I'll watch it on the Spanish streaming site I mentioned earlier. As a first experience of seeing Zhu Yilong in a theatre, this was a total joy.

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Only the River Flows in Amsterdam XD

2024-02-28T21:00:39Z

Sooo I was going to watch Only the River Flows on the Spanish streaming site I mentioned previously, but I looked up the movie again and it turns out it's playing at an Asian film festival in Amsterdam next week!

I bought tickets and I'm excited to go - this will be the first Zhu Yilong movie I see on an actual movie screen. Which seems especially fitting for this one (it was shot on film and in chronological order, apparently. What a rare experience that must be for an actor.)

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Only the River Flows, now a legal stream

2024-02-25T14:16:27Z

Quick headsup (thanks to wenella's feed and lunarriviera pointing out that this service is accessible outside Spain) that Zhu Yilong's latest movie Only the River Flows is available streaming on this Spanish streaming service: https://www.filmin.es/pelicula/el-silencio-del-agua

With Chinese audio and English subs available, hooray. I was hoping to get to see this in cinemas, but the trek to Germany to see it there was too much for me right now, alas.

You pay 8 eur for a monthly subscription, which you can then immediately cancel (I don't speak any Spanish but it was easy enough: go to top right for your profile, hit Configuracion, and you'll get an option to cancel your subscription) and still have access to content for the next month.

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new Hikaru no Go fic for Yuletide

2024-01-01T19:00:36Z

I joined Yuletide the way I've come to prefer, same as last year: I didn't sign up, I browsed people's prompts and wrote a story as a gift fic. In this case it was for thefourthvine, and it was for Hikaru no Go, which I've never written in before. Perfect timing for the fandom to rejoin Yuletide, since I recently watched the anime and was full of feelings.

with the moon the heart (3220 words, rated T, no warnings)
Shindou always leaves, and Touya always runs after him, but not today.
Today, Touya has stolen Shindou's fan.

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well, fuck this

2023-11-23T10:20:36Z

for my own mental health, I haven't been following political news particulary closely, and when I voted yesterday I had the sincere hope that it was finally time for a leftist coalition to rise to power in the Netherlands. welllll...nope.

I am sad, mad, worried, and disgusted. The only thing to keep morale bolstered is that we have a multiple party system and there will not be a single party ruling the country, but a coalition, and other parties to vote against their plans. But this is a massive step back in almost every way imaginable, and one I'd hoped we would never take.

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a sleepy podfic

2023-11-16T16:38:05Z

Testing out the new Create Entries beta for DW before it goes live seems like a smart idea, let me know if anything looks odd on your end.

I've been in hibernation mostly, fannish and otherwise, but I wrote a small addition to the ongoing Dreamtime podfic that sef1029 is organizing and recording. It's an impression of Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan's evening, told in fragments by multiple authors, with the express intention of sending the listener to a peaceful sleep. I really like this idea and I hope it has some benefits to anyone who has trouble sleeping.

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a random dive into Hikaru no Go

2023-09-05T11:13:01Z

So I fell down a Hikaru no Go rabbithole. The plan was to watch the new Chinese live action, which I haven't done yet except for an episode or two, because I read the manga and watched the anime instead.

Did I learn to play Go? No. What's so fun about HnG is that it's still appealing even when you don't know the game.

I'm also fascinated that the mangaka, Takeshi Obata, went on to work on Death Note. I know he was the artist and not the writer, but I love the idea of Ryuk in Death Note (nightmarish demonic shinigami accompanying our protagonist, invisible to everyone else) as an alternate version of Sai in HnG (charming, brilliant, puckish, only occasionally ruthless ghost accompanying our protagonist, invisible to everyone else). Or the frenemy/rivalry of Touya and Shindo at a Go board turning into a similar relationship between a serial killer and a detective.

Mostly, having just finished the anime, I want to sit with Sai and make him ghost tea and listen to his stories about Heian court life. It's mentioned in canon that he played with Murasaki Shikibu and Sei Shonagon, but what did they talk about? Did Sei Shonagon try to flirt her way out of defeat? Did Murasaki base any of her Tale of Genji characters on him?

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Signal Boost: OTW Membership Offers

2023-06-24T19:23:44Z

goss posted: Signal boosting: OTW Membership Offers

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how does he keep doing this

2023-05-05T19:47:15Z

once again I am mesmerized by Zhu Yilong even though he's in a commercial for awful looking fast food pizza (it has mashed potatoes on it??)

rude of him. why does he have to look like that. "Do you know the taste of longing?" is quite the slogan for, I have to repeat myself, a pizza that features mashed potatoes as a reasonable topping.

Here's the video and yes I did link it to start at the best moment, you're welcome. i am not responsible for the way his cheek hollows out.

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Tensions

2023-03-27T10:22:38Z

I was rewatching some of Nirvana in Fire in the laziest way, on Youtube, just snacking on half an episode (and I really really miss being able to rewatch Guardian in the same way), and good grief I don't think I've ever seen another show where a quiet conversation between two people has me on the edge of my seat this much.

Right now I watched the conversation between the Emperor and Consort Jing where he's almost falling asleep on his big bed and she's seated beside him, gently holding his hand. He looks sleepy and their voices never go much above a murmur, but when he asks her 'do you ever dream about her?' and she deflects because she knows he means Consort Chen, but still doesn't dare mention her--it's riveting, and she also knows the perils of lying to this man.

Every single thing he says to her, even seemingly kind things like 'Don't let the Empress bully you' is lined with rusty nails and boobytraps, and she navigates every single hazard with such skill. It's the equivalent of an especially vicious tomb in Lost Tomb Reboot, but here none of the hazards are visible, it's all in the character work.

And after she deflects, and he says "You know I wasn't talking about the Grand Empress" she does give him his answer, that she dreams of Consort Chen (though I don't think her name is ever mentioned by either of them?) and the emotional tension gets more intense, even as the actual 'will he murder her for saying this' tension eases up a bit. Seeing Consort Jing wince and get tense and visibly react to what he's asking of her is such a moment, because she hardly ever lets anything unbalance her.

In short: Consort Jing 💕

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fic! "Close Your Eyes and See Me", a Guardian AU

2023-03-18T19:38:44Z

I posted the final chapter of my Guardian AU today:

Close Your Eyes and See Me (88053 words) by marycrawford
Chapters: 17/17
Fandom: 镇魂 | Guardian (TV 2018)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan
Summary:
It seemed like a good idea to Zhao Yunlan at the time. Take a job as a life drawing model, observe the students, try to figure out if one of them murdered the previous art professor.
Get paid to sit on a chair, basically. Piece of cake, right?

It was a whole new thing to me, posting a story in chapters, and I enjoyed it (people yelled at me about the cliffhangers, which was delightful).

Except for my dilly-dallying over the final chapters, which I started rewriting back in October as I posted the first chapters, and then...kept going. Or rather, not so much going as opening the file and closing it again before running away in a complete collapse of confidence. Without a dorinda to gently poke me into actually Doing the Thing, it might never have gotten there. But now it's done, happy sigh, and I can start poking at other ideas that have been lying fallow (and the other AU that I wrote 20K of in the before times, do I even remember where I was going?)

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Stardew Valley on sale

2023-02-21T10:53:55Z

Stardew Valley basically got me through the pandemic and it's half price at GOG right now - 7 eur or the equivalent in dollars.

I support buying it at full price, because it's made by a single, fabulous developer, but it's not like it would go on sale without his full approval (and also he made a bunch and deserves every red cent.)

In essence, it's about growing your farm but also about getting to know the villagers you meet, and it's made with love and care that none of the monetized clones that came out after it got popular will ever be able to replicate.

I'm still trying to figure out who I will marry this run - my last farm I didn't want to marry anyone at all and lived with cryptid monster Krobus instead, who only comes out when it's raining and makes me poppyseed muffins to express his affection.

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and there's a sequel

2023-01-19T20:01:03Z

So I wrote a very short story for mumblemumble for fandomtrees, about Chu Shuzhi at a slave auction, being put on display by his Lord Envoy for Reasons.

And then mumblemumble wrote a sequel that goes into more detail about the things Chu Shuzhi would do for his Lord and what his Lord Envoy would ask of him, and it is glorious and you should all read it:

Aftermath (2360 words) by A
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: 镇魂 | Guardian (TV 2018)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Chu Shuzhi/Shen Wei
Characters: Chu Shuzhi, Shen Wei (Guardian), Zhao Yunlan
Additional Tags: Slaves, Submission, Loyalty Kink, And About Fifteen Other Kinks, Aftercare
Summary:

"Quiet," his Lordship commands, and the room falls silent. His finger settles under Chu Shuzhi's chin to tilt his head up, his gaze heavy on Chu Shuzhi, his eyes dark as a storm underneath the mask. "This one isn't mine to discipline anymore," he says coldly, causing a victorious murmur among the crowd.

Chu Shuzhi doesn't flinch. He doesn't move at all. He has to remind himself to breathe.

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